Thursday, January 26, 2012

There's something alive inside of me?!

J and I went to see baby on our first ultrasound on Tuesday.  It was surreal, I think that's the best descriptor I have for it.
Poor J had to have been nervous, or unsure of what to do, because he just stood in the ultrasound room.  I pointed to the two chairs, then told him to sit down, he kept standing.  I went to the bathroom and came back, still standing; the tech got us a DVD to record the ultrasound, still standing; I disrobed, still standing.  Finally, I sat on the table and ordered him to sit, lol.
Thankfully, friends have told me that the first ultrasound isn't a tummy ultrasound, but a trans-vaginal, so I was able to warn J.
Once the ultrasound started, I couldn't see the screen, but J could.  I just watched his face when she didn't have the screen turned around to me.  Seeing his grin, from ear to ear, was just as good as seeing Baby and hearing Baby's heart beat.

7wks3days heart rate of 143bpm

Getting to see Baby was amazing.
But strange.
Am I the only first time Mommie-to-be, or Mommie for that matter, that thinks this?

I mean, I'm beyond the moon excited that we're going to have a child to raise in the love that we have (go ahead, barf, lol)
But, being only 7 weeks, I just don't feel pregnant yet.  Yes, I haven't had a period since around Thanksgiving (TMI?); yes I have nausea, though thankfully not all day, though it seems to be gradually increasing; yes, I have started to gag when I cough (thank you seasonal allergies).
But, I just don't feel pregnant yet.
So, it was surreal to see this living, moving thing inside of me.  To hear a heartbeat that isn't mine.
Am I the only one?

All that said, I am super excited.  A baby isn't something I wanted growing up, I wasn't ever that kid/teenager who said, "When I grow up I want to be a mommie!"  It was just never a dream of mine.
That all changed when J and I married and I realized this man will be the father of my child/ren.  Why?  Because all of a sudden, I had a love I had never imagined possible.  This was a love I wanted to share, in a way I never wanted to share before.  I wanted to have a child with J, to raise in the love we have together.

So, here we are, waiting for September!
Advice?  Anyone?  lol

4 comments:

  1. I felt the same way (as far as weirdness goes) especially since i could see her moving but couldnt feel her. I really didnt "feel" pregnant until i could feel her. Then it really gets exciting ( and still a little weird). All I know is that you are going to make a great mother! You helped me out so much with my little girl when i was the scaredest of being a mom. I hope i can help you as much. But for right now all i can say is congratz you and J are going to be great parents! (Oh and try and sleep now lol)

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  2. i bet this is SUPER exciting :) my best friend back home is pregnant right now and im living through her ultrasound emails she is sending me with joy! congrats to you and your hubby <3

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    1. Thank you so much! It is super exciting

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